This is Discipleship

If you're wanting a simple explanation of what discipleship is all about check out this YouTube video. I think that says it all!

Relational Ministry

Relational ministry might be described as any step toward building a relationship with a student in your ministry. It could be a big step, it could be small—either way, it's simply the effort toward truly living in community and sharing life together.

Ministry with young people should be known for this! Students that are a part of your ministry are there to be known, loved, and cared for. All of these things take time—and time is what we can offer that the world (and too often, parents) isn't giving. 

Relational ministry takes time—but not as much as you might think. Here is a list in order of significance for you to follow.

Be Present - going to a student’s sporting event or school performance such as a band concert or play is major. Other colleagues of mine see this as an opportunity to have a date night with their significant other. The key is staying and making sure that the student knows that you were there.

Talk with Them - in a world of texting and emailing it’s often nice to hear someone’s voice. Take five minutes and give the student a call to check in with how their week is going. This will mean a lot to the student but also to the students family that you care enough to individually call them and ask how their day was.

Send Handwritten Notes - this may sound old-school, but everyone including my 18 month old daughter loves to receive mail. The art of writing a handwritten note is going by the wayside, however, for certain students this could mean the world. Whenever I receive a handwritten note from someone I cherish it, and so will your students.

Connect Through Social Media - if you are not Facebook friends with your students, you should be. If they have a twitter account, you should be following them. From time to time write an encouraging word on their wall or send them a direct message through twitter. You could also use other social media platforms like Insta Graham, Interest and others. This takes very little time but this is the world in which most students live and to see that they have an adult who understands the media and uses it, shows that you care about meeting them WHERE THEY ARE.

Text message them - I’m not talking about a mass text that you sent to all your students, rather, a personal text just to them so that they know that you are thinking about them. Again, text messaging is where most young people live today and it youth and young adult workers are not using that media, we will quickly become irrelevant.

I would offer you this challenge. This week try to begin a habit of relationship building with your students. Relationships are the hardest and most time-consuming part of the Young People’s Ministry, however, I would argue that it is the most important.

PS: don’t forget to encourage your leaders as well. 

So… You’re Going on a Mission Trip This Summer

One of the key spiritual growth engines in a youth ministry is helping students serve-and one of the great ways to get a concentrated burst in that area is to take your students on our short-term mission trip. I led lots of different trips over the years and I’ve learned a few things that I’d like to pass on.

Crawl, Walk, and Run - If possible, design your missions opportunities into 3 steps for students at various spiritual commitment levels. Do a local mission opportunity (Food Drive-one afternoon, easy, free). A long weekend/extended school break trip (4 days, higher cost, some travel). A global trip (international travel, 11 days, very high cost). Doing these incremental steps gives various students and parents options as to how committed both financially and timewise they are to mission opportunities.

Work the Cost for Leaders into the Cost per Student-A common question is what do you do about leaders cost, especially when budgets are tight-if you’re fortunate to have access to one in the first place. Several churches that I’m aware of work the leaders cost into the price of the missions trip, team or event. We don’t like asking our volunteers to pay to minister alongside students on a big event like a missions trip, because they are probably already taking hard earned vacation time. That’s just one philosophy… Yours may very.

Don’t Get Lost in Fundraising - Speaking of money, aggressively plan the price for the trip so that you don’t take the joy out of the trip by getting lost in fundraising help. It would be better to take a trip that cost less rather than getting stuck with a huge bill that can only be satisfied by 432 car washes and bake sales. Finding creative ways to fund raise will help take a lot of the burden off of taking a big trip. (Fundraising is a blog article in and of itself)

Bring the Family - If you have a family and it is appropriate I highly encourage you to incorporate your family on your mission trip. While your kids may be too young for the trip, they can learn a lot by watching other students in missions. Plus, it gives you some good family time together and an experience that could change your family’s life forever.

These are just a few of the things that I’ve learned, what would you add to this list?

"Do's" and "Don'ts" of Young People's Ministry

Here is a short list of some “Do’s” and Don’ts” that I have learned in doing ministry with young people:

DON'T Be Ignorant of Your Perception - Perception is reality and it is never more true than when we apply it to young People’s ministry. Know your reputation, know your weaknesses, and work to get better on the stuff you fail at. Don’t get blindsided by things you could have avoided.

DO the Basics- Youth ministry isn’t rocket science. In fact, some of the most important parts of a healthy youth ministry are actually quite simple: learning the names of your students, following up on newcomers, visiting sick students who are in the hospital, sending birthday cards, remembering to follow-up on prayer requests, etc. I’ve also heard this referred to it as “Paying the Rent.”

DON'T Miss the Small Things - be on time. Fill the church van back up with gas. Let someone know about the problem before they stumble onto it. Cleanup the youth room. Pick up the trash as you walk in from the parking lot. There are lots of people in the congregation who will notice the small things. If you do them well it will gain you big equity.

DO Work with Parents - Kurt Johnson of Simple Youth Ministry has a favorite saying, “If parents are for you, who can be against you?” When you are doing ministry with young people you’re also doing ministry with their parents. Keeping the parents informed with proper communication, loving their children as though they were your own, and having a transparent ministry where parents are not afraid to ask questions of the youth leadership are all key ingredients to working well with parents.

DON'T Avoid Difficult Things - Follow up with that parent who might have a problem with something the young People’s ministry did. Don’t leave someone hanging. Report major problems to the leadership structure of the church as well as the authorities (problems don’t just disappear). Receive criticism well and be a learner (everyone hates a know it all!)

DO Get out of the Church - As strange as it may be, many youth ministries focus on the young people with-in the congregation, while neglecting the hundreds of young people who are in the community where the church is located. Many of these young people outside the church are the ones in the greatest of need. Having an active outreach to young people who are not affiliated with your church is key. It lets the community know that you care about the young people not just in your church community, but in the community at large. If you have the opportunity to get involved in local schools through organizations like Young Life and Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) I would highly encourage it.

Creating a Unified Team

Ministry works better when we approach it from a team aspect. One person cannot hope to accomplish ministry at the same level of excellence as a team of people working in concert with one another. In ministry, I have served on some good teams and not so good teams. Here are a few lessons that I’ve learned:

People Who Are Informed Are Less Likely to Gossip-Often times ignorance can create a breeding ground for gossip. Also, it is a team’s worst enemy. When you keep people in the dark, sometimes their mind plays tricks on them. They read into a situation or conversation, and the lack of communication creates gaps they gladly fill with their own speculation or a pain. If you want to create a unified team, keep people in the loop! When you communicate well, you crush the early growth of gossip.

People Who Have Great History Have Unity-If you have a few key volunteers who have been with you since the beginning, you know how sweet it is to be with them, serve alongside them, and do the hard work of ministry together. You literally and figuratively have each other’s backs, and unity is your middle name. On the other hand, when you have high a turnover or a collection of young, immature, or inexperienced youth workers serving with you the total opposite can happen. Work hard to keep them around for the long term.

People Who Laugh Rarely Turn on Each Other - I’ve noticed again and again in my years of ministry that when people laugh together, they love each other more. When you are in a relationship with your people-great stories, memories and inside jokes-the stronger you are together. When was the last time you spent some time just playing with your team? When was the last time you had an award ceremony and gave out awards for everyone? Laughing together creates unity quickly. 

Practical Idea: Resource Box

Over the years there are some just practical things that you need to have in order to do ministry with young people. One of the most important that I use often is a resource box. This resource box is full of the practical things that you always need for retreats, youth group lessons, etc. that unless you pull them together in one place you spend a lot of time looking for them. Here’s what’s in my box:

1. Pens
2. Pencils
3. Scissors
4. Tape (scotch, masking, duct-you never know when you might need duct tape)
5. Hole punch
6. 3 x 5 note cards
7. Plain white computer paper
8. A package of multi-colored construction paper
9. Rubber bands
10. Crayons
11. Markers
12. Assorted stickers
13. Popsicle sticks
14. Fishing line
15. Balloons

My box is one of those that you can get at a home improvement store that has the fliptop lockable lids ($6-$10). All of the other things that I listed are in smaller plastic containers that fit neatly into that one big box (I have 8 and got them at a dollar store). If you are making a resource box what would you put in yours?

3 Ways to Make Your Message Stick

I often wonder as I teach and preach, "How much of this is sticking?" I work very hard to prayerfully craft a message that reflects what the passage is about, while at the same time keeping it interesting for young people to be engaged. Here are 3 things that I've learned to do to make my message stick.

1) Be Concrete - A lot of our faith is based on abstract ideas. It’s hard for children, as well as young people, to grasp some of these abstract ideas without relating them to something that they can experience with their senses (touch, smell, taste, hear, and see). For example, if your teaching young people about the doctrine of the Trinity, it can be quite confusing unless you find an example that they can relate to.

2) Be Vulnerable - Young people can’t relate to someone if they’re not willing to be open and honest with them. Furthermore, young people can see right through someone who is fake. The more open and honest you are with your young people about who you are, chances are the more open and honest they will be with you. I take this example from Jesus. Jesus was very open and honest with his 12 disciples and formed deep long-lasting relationships with them. The same can be said in developing healthy and meaningful young people’s ministry. Young people are starving for real relationships, so be vulnerable with them.

3) Keep It Simple Stupid (KISS) - This is my favorite! Nothing helps a message stick with a young person than if you keep it simple. They are not looking for graduate level discussions or someone who can regurgitate doctrinal statements of faith. They are looking for simple, no-nonsense ways of living and being in relationship with others and God. So whatever you teacher or preach KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID!