4 Ways to Be More Relational in Your Young People's Ministry

1)  Add a “welcome time” to youth group each week.
We’ve all seen this before, the “shake hands with 15 people around you” but when used sparingly it can be really effective. As your group grows, it’s surprisingly easy for the “basics” like a warm greeting to slip through the cracks! Our students have come to love this time—we’ve expanded it to several minutes so that people can actually have a short conversation rather then just a cursory greeting. This is a great chance for introductions to be made, too! We have a volunteer every week who works hard to get to know someone new and makes it a point to introduce them to us specifically each week.

2) Have everyone in place before and after the service.
If you are still running around finalizing details of your program when everyone is coming in, it’s gonna be tough to be relational! Work hard to do program-related stuff before students arrive; if you’re still dialing things in as they’re walking in, it’s simply too late. And tell everyone on your volunteer team they are “dead to each other” once youth group starts.

3) Build down time to hang at every event.
If you’re at a youth conference, camp, or other big event, the planners have been paid to fill up every waking moment with something. In many cases, youth leaders choose a late-night option or yet another training session when what the group might need is some discussion time. Maybe a break is in order, and you need to ditch a session and go get some frozen yogurt and just talk over what they’ve already learned. Relational ministry fights the go, go, go approach.

 4) Train your leaders in the art of asking good questions.
Help your leaders ask good questions—open-ended questions that require thoughts instead of a simple yes or no. Help them have an instantly ready queue of questions to ask someone they are meeting for the first time. Give them the tools to help them fight the awkward silences of first getting to meet someone.

(I got these ideas from a weekly e-mail that I get about youth and young adult ministry)

How to Start a Parent Ministry

Every good youth program needs to take into consideration how they will minister to the parents of their students. If you don't minister to the parent as well as your student, you are missing some great opportunities to reinforce the values you want to teach. Here are a few just on how to create a ministry to parents.

First…focus on the obvious. 
Before you accomplish some grand vision of partnership with parents, think about the obvious places parents are looking for help: The transition from elementary school to junior high, from junior high to high school, and from high school to college are all massive for parents.

What do they need? 
Talk to parents and see what they would like or need. The last thing you want is to create an event or program they feel they don't need. Trust us, we've done that several times and it's humiliating. Talk to some core parents, and some on the fringe, and ask them to give you a perspective of what would be beneficial to their family. 

Communicate 
You could probably start a text message list quickly and cheaply and take a huge leap forward. Maybe start a blog that shares what you taught at youth group last week—maybe with a few discussion questions for parents to follow-up with during the week. As you come across great resources for parents, consider posting a list in the church bulletin board (virtually or the one in the hallway). Start with a couple easy things to begin partnering with parents. 

When their child starts taking sports seriously, starts working for the first time, or has his/her first serious relationship. If a family is going through a divorce, death or other traumatic event, there are lots of obvious, and very natural, places for you to begin ministering to parents without the formalities of meetings and newsletters!

10 Ideas for Creating Cross-Generational Youth Ministry

Cross-generational or intergenerational ministry is more than just different age groups inhabiting the same space (as happens often in our worship experiences). Rather, its providing opportunities for Christians of all generations to engage each other in experiences that build relationships and a deeper sense of the Church as one body in Christ. Below are 10 ideas for engaging in cross-generational youth ministry.  Not all may work for your setting as each context is different. But perhaps these will inspire you to seek new opportunities to provide a deeper sense of oneness as a church.

Talk About It - Before initiating any grand scheme to develop cross-generational ministry, it can be helpful to find opportunities to speak with staff members, church leaders, and groups within your congregation about the rationale for moving away from segregated youth programming.

Ease into It - As the cross-generational approach may be a new idea for many, it might be best to resist the urge to jump in with both feet, tossing out your old approach entirely. Start with a fellowship event or perhaps a short-term joint study opportunity for mixed ages.  Let others experiences what this new approach can be and they will hopefully become advocates for the cause.

Adopt-a-grandparent - Call upon your youth to adopt an elder member of your congregation and invite them to show that person special care. This could include sitting with them in worship, inviting them to come to a youth gathering, or sending them a card on their birthday or when they are ill.

Adopt-a-youth - The reverse idea works as well. Invite adults in your congregation to adopt youth and be part of a ministry of nurture to your teens. I'd suggest that these persons not be the same adults who already serve in your youth ministry program.  The more adults who are connected in meaningful ways with your teens, the better.

Art Experiences - Like the guys I mentioned at the top of this post, engaging people of all ages in experiences of art-making is a great way to break down barriers.  Group art projects allow everyone to play a part while providing time for conversation and community-building.

Joint Mission Trips - I'm a big proponent for ending the "youth mission trips" that have been such a standard component of youth programming for a long time now and moving toward mission opportunities that invite all ages in the church to participate.  Nothing builds community faster between the ages than travelling together and working side-by-side to help those in need.

Cross Generational Camps/Retreats - In the St. Louis area, the Disciples of Christ congregations are planning our second annual cross-generational church camp experience. Last summer we gathered at retreat center for a week of camp for all ages. We had everybody from babies to senior citizens. We ate together, played together, and worshipped together while still providing opportunities for children, teens, and adults to spend time in their separate age groupings. The evaluation of the event was unanimously positive from all ages and for this summer we are developing even more opportunities to help make the event truly cross-generational.

Youth Leadership - One of the best ways for older teens to begin to learn what the real work of the Church is all about is to invite them to be part of your church leadership teams and ministries.  Rather than having them sit on the sidelines waiting to same day take part in work of the church, invite youth right now to lend their ideas and voices to your outreach ministry, your worship planning, your church board.  In our congregation, one of our oldest senior high youth is co-chair of the Christian education ministry team.

Music Experiences - A great way to cross the generational divide is through music. Create opportunities, perhaps even an old-fashioned hymn sing, in which older generations can share hymns of the past and younger generations can introduce adults to more contemporary Christian songs.  In fact, if teens share music they learned at church camp they may be surprised to find that many adults learned those very same songs at camp, too!

Small Groups - Many of our congregations have small groups meeting on and off the church site all the time. Why not create a few groups which are intentionally cross-generational and purposefully recruit both adolescent and adult group participants? Provide opportunities for them to study the Bible, work on a mission project or read together a book that will challenge all ages while inviting lots of conversation and meaningful fellowship.

What are your ideas?


(this is a reprint of an article that I read from rethinkingyouthministry.com)

Resource Review: What Did I Sign Up For?

As summer winds down it's a perfect opportunity to do some practical training for your youth mentors and/or volunteers. A great resource that I found to do this is a program called "What Did I Sign Up For?" By Chris Folmsbee. To help you better understand the program I've highlighted the pros and cons that this program has to offer.

Pros

It’s Systematic - What I mean by that is that it deals with training in a very logical step-by-step way. It sets the foundation for learning and gives some practical and programming ideas that can be easily employed by any size youth or young adult program.

It's Interactive - This program is DVD based with the author actually leading the sessions. Each session is not too long and can easily be incorporated into a regular volunteer meeting throughout the year.

It's Makes the Training Relevant to your Situation - a lot of training programs that I have reviewed and used don't take into consideration that every church is different. This one does. And if I might add, does it quite well. It allows you to take the concepts that are thought and helps you process what you're learning and what it will look like in your particular context.

Cons

It's Too Long - if I have one complaint about this program is that it is way too long. Unless you were doing this as a retreat, it will take you nearly half the year to go through this program. You can take bits and pieces of the program but to get the full impact of what it has to teach you really need to do the whole program. However, the 20 sessions that it requires I believe is too long for most volunteers.

Conclusion

I would definitely recommend this program even though it’s long in length. The principles it teaches and the way it helps you relate it back to your specific situation is great. There is another bonus as well, it's not that expensive. So if you're looking for instances way to train your nervous volunteers and/or mentors I would highly recommend this program. If your church is within the Susquehanna Conference of the United Methodist Church, you can borrow the program from our resource center Discovery Place (discovery-place.org)

The Perfect Youth Ministry Volunteer

Youth Pastor, Chris Dortch, in North Carolina recently posted on his church's blog looking for volunteers. Here's what he's looking for, and I thought it sounded pretty good! 

What would the “perfect” youth ministry volunteer look like?  I think I have an answer, but first let’s address some of the myths.


Myth #1 “You’ve got to be cool.”
Let’s face it, we probably weren’t that cool in high school and we’re certainly not cool as adults.  Students don’t need someone to be cool, they need authenticity.  If you are willing to be yourself around teenagers, you’re a great candidate for volunteering in the youth ministry.


Myth #2 “You’ve got to be young.”
Sometimes we think that the 20-somethings “relate better” to teenagers because of their age.  Most teenagers have a hard time telling the difference between at 25 year-old who is married and a 37 year-old who is married (they are both “old”).  Research shows that teenagers are actually drawn to the oldest person in the room who will listen to them and take them seriously.  If you are willing to listen to teenagers and take their problems seriously, you’re a great candidate for volunteering in the youth ministry.


Myth #3 “You’ve got to act like a teenager.”
There is a difference between being child-like and being childish.  One of my youth ministry heroes, Duffy Robbins says, “Teenagers don’t need adults who act like teenagers.  They need adults who don’t freak out when teenagers act like teenagers.”  If you can act like an adult and not “freak out” when teenagers act like teenagers, then you’re a great candidate for volunteering in the youth ministry.


Myth #4 “You’ve got to a Bible scholar.”
Sure, we want you to know something about the Bible, but we don’t expect you to have all of the answers.  In John 9, the man born blind gives us a great example of how to respond to questions we don’t know the answers to, “Whether Jesus was a sinner or not, I don’t know.  One thing I do know, I once was blind but now I can see!”  If you are willing to help students discover answers to their questions, you’re a great candidate for volunteering in the youth ministry.


Myth #5 “You’ve got to know everything in teen culture.”
It’s okay if you don’t listen to Justin Bieber and you still listen to Abba on vinyl.  Students want you to be you.  Many of them would even love to hear stories about the time you were in a KISS cover band!  If you don’t know who Justin Bieber is, you’re the perfect candidate for volunteering in the youth ministry.


If these aren’t the things that teenagers are looking for, what do they need in an adult volunteer?


Reality #1 “Students need adults who will live a life honoring to God.”
Students are searching for adults who are authentic in their walk with Christ.  If there is one thing that teenagers have a keen ability to spot, it is fake people.


Reality #2 “Students need adults who are interested enough to learn their name.”
Students want to know if adults care enough to remember their names.  When I first came to Christ Community Church over ten years ago, I had a middle school girl ask, “Do you know my name?”  To my embarrassment, I had no clue.  I told her that if she reminded me of her name one last time, I would make sure that I knew it the next week.  I will never forget Alice.


Reality #3 “Students need adults who are interested in their life.”
Students need adults who will spend time with them, pray for them, say an encouraging word, believe in them, and simply laugh with them.  Students want to know if you are willing to come into “their world” and discover who they are.


Reality #4 “Students need adults who are consistent with their attendance.”
Students are familiar with adults who come in and out of their lives like a revolving door.  Teachers change from semester to semester.  Parents change from alternating weekends.  Teenagers need to know which adults are going to be consistent in their life.  This is one of the reasons that I have committed to youth ministry for nearly twenty years.
Students may ask it this way, “Do you care about me?  Do you know my name?  Will you be here next week?”  If you are willing to show teenagers you care about them, willing to learn some names, and be consistent with your attendance… YOU are the perfect youth ministry volunteer.