Relational Investment Vs. Relational Engagement

This is always a tough problem for people in ministry to wrestle with; especially those who work with young people. We want to personally investe in the lives of every student or young person that we come in contact with, however that is physically and emotionally impossible. I know a number of pastors who try to do ministry in this way, thinking that this is how ministry is done. But what ends up happening is that they burnout very early in their ministry and they are no good later in their ministry to anyone.

However, there is a way that we can be in ministry with young people and have a very meaningful impact on their lives. This way is relational engagement. I got this idea by attending a youth worker training event this past spring and it was one of those things that I had been doing for years but I never really put words to it. What the presenter tried to argue was this: it is virtually impossible to give 100% of ourselves to 100% of the students and young people that we are in ministry with. However, we can engage 100% of our young people in short, but meaningful ways.

The example he gave was attending sporting events, school concerts or school plays. While you won't be able to spend a whole lot of time with the young person, if you make a concerted effort to see the young person after the event letting them know that you were there and that they did a good job or made a good play, they will remember that forever. In my own ministry this rang true with a young girl who was bounded determined to hate me. I had followed a pastor who had been appointed to that church for over 20 years. It was the only pastor she had ever known, and she wasn't about to let me into her life. She was a field hockey player, so I found out her field hockey schedule and went to one of her home games. At the end of the game I made sure to say hello to her and her parents. After that encounter, her whole demeanor changed. It was as though I was could do nothing wrong and I instantly became her favorite pastor.

In ministry we are not going to have all of the time or the energy to invest in the people we want to. We could quite literally kill ourselves trying to do that. However, strategically engaging people in simple ways can make the world of difference to those youth and young people who so desperately need to be loved. Try it sometime!